Who are these kids and why are they calling me mom?

Sometimes you just have to put on your big girl panties and deal with it

Nap Time? Not Really May 29, 2010

Filed under: Kids,Love — Steph @ 11:27 am
Tags: , ,

Yesterday was a LONG day.  I will write about it tomorrow.  I just wanted to say apparently Mother Nature was reading my post yesterday because she took her meds.  It was a gorgeous day!  I even dare say it was a bit too hot!  No rain as was predicted.  We did have some rain in the middle of the night but none to spoil our fun day at the school.  Also?  The weather report has changed for the weekend and while it’s supposed to be cool it is NOT supposed to rain!  I am awesome that way.  You’re welcome!

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I live for Elizabeth’s nap time.  It drives my mom and my MIL crazy.  She doesn’t nap in her own bed.  She did until after the fire and then she didn’t anymore.  At first I thought it was the upheaval.  Then I thought, well duh; she napped in my bed or my mom’s bed the whole time we stayed there after the fire, she’s just confused.  Not only will she not nap in her own bed but she insists I lay down with her.  This is where my mom and MIL enter in.  They don’t like to lay down with her and she doesn’t nap well for them on the rare occasion she’s at one of their houses during nap time.  I don’t mind.  In fact it’s my favorite time of day.  Why?  Because nap time = snuggle time.  Elizabeth is a lot like an unbroken colt.  She’s always kicking and bucking and trying to run through fences but at times you see a glimpse of the heart in her.  Nap time is one of the few times I see that glimpse.  She’s not a snuggler, she never has been.  Not even as an infant.  She snuggles when she’s sick and when she’s exhausted.  Never any other time.  Any other time she’s testing those fences for weak wire or a gap big enough to fit through.  So when I say “it’s nap time” and she says “you coming to lay down with me” I say “of course” and I relish it.  I lay next to her and she snuggles up with me, laying as close as possible without actually laying on top of me.  Before she falls asleep she talks while we snuggle.  It’s usually a very deep conversation for her.  Whatever has been going on in her amazingly active head that day comes out at nap time.  The other day?  It was monsters.  Here’s the conversation:

E: My baby needs a bandaid for her broken heart

Me: OK, but where is her heart?

E: I don’t know mommy

Me: Do you know where your heart is?

E: I don’t have a heart

Me: Of course you do, everyone does.  It’s in your chest.

E: I don’t have a chest, what’s a chest?

Me: Well it’s right here above your tummy

E: My heart isn’t in my tummy, I don’t have a heart

Me: I promise you do, right here

E: No, because there’s cheese in there and I pooped out the cheese

Me: *snort* well you can’t poop out your heart

E: The monster stole my heart

Me: What monster?  There’s no such thing as monsters *she DOES NOT believe this no matter how many times I tell her*

E: Yeah huh, in my closet and he stole my heart.

Me: *laying my head on her chest* I can hear your heart beating right here where it belongs

E: It’s a pink, poofy heart with sparkles.

Me: Of course and monsters that don’t exist certainly don’t like pink, poofy, sparkly things.

E: I hope I don’t poop out my heart tomorrow *she says it like tamarrow with a short ‘a’ sound for some reason she has a bit of a Texas accent a lot of times despite being a Wyoming kid*

Me: Me too

How can you not live for that time of day?  They say I am missing out because I could use that time to do housework, have some downtime, take a shower, etc… They say she’s too old to nap in my bed.  I say she will never be too old for my favorite part of the day and they’re the ones missing out.  I so hope I’m right!

PS/I did NOT explain the digestive system to her.  I have NO idea where she learned where poop comes from, I’ve actually been contemplating that since this conversation took place.

 

Retard March 4, 2010

Filed under: Kids,Life,Love — Steph @ 11:16 am
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I loathe the word “retard”.  It’s probably my least favorite word in the entire world.

Why, you ask?

Because it’s not a “word” that should be used to describe someone you dislike, a person’s actions, or an inanimate object.

It’s a medical diagnosis people.  It’s a diagnosis that changes lives daily all over the world.  It’s not a word your 10 year old should use toward their sibling, e.g. “Mom, Jane is retarded” it’s not a word your 10 year old should use to express their feelings toward homework, teachers, Miley Cyrus, the cat, or anyone or anything else.

In my house the word “retard” is absolutely banned.  I’d rather my children cuss than use that word. (Not that they do either, it’s just an illustration)

The next time your child says ” (insert name here) is retarded” stop to think about the meaning of the word!  Stop to consider the children in their school who will carry that diagnosis in a medical file for the rest of their lives.  Stop to think about the parents of that child and how they feel when they’re in Wal-Mart and they hear your child say “broccoli is retarded” while they look down at their precious child and their heart breaks.  Your child has just reinforced  one of the many, many hardships their child will have to overcome in their lifetime. Stop right where you are and use that time to teach your child the life lesson they’ve just been presented with.

We spend so much time these days teaching our children to be tolerant of people and their differences, but not many households actually stop to teach their children how horrific this word is when it’s casually thrown about.  I’m begging you, teach your children to love those who need that love and acceptance the most.

I’m sure you’re all wondering why I am posting this.  That’s not my story to tell, just please know it’s being passed on to you because I’ve seen the hurt and disappointment it causes in so many ways and I don’t want my children to grow up in a society that deems the casual use of this particular word acceptable.

UDATE: Apparently she and I woke up on the same side of the bed yesterday: http://tinyurl.com/yjvrdoa

Just so you know, her post is MUCH better than mine!  I actually hung out for a while, read several posts on  her blog and added her to my reader.  🙂  I needed one more blog to read really badly, but WOW is she an amazing woman!!


 

Ordinary People… November 23, 2007

Filed under: Life,Love — Steph @ 2:06 pm

If you’re a country music fan you’ve probably heard the Clay Walker song “Ordinary People”.  If you’re not you should go listen.  That song has been on my mind for MONTHS now.  I have tried a hundred times to write this post but it’s been a hard one to verbalize. 

The song talks about the love of “Ordinary People”.  In one verse he mentions his grandparents being marred fr 67 years and loving eachother until the end.

That’s a concept I never managed to grasp until recently.  67 years of loving the same person, living for the same person.  It seems completely unfathomable in this day and age where divorce is as common as cavities doesn’t it?

My great-grandfather died last week after a long illness.  He leaves behind my Granny, his wife of 69 years.  In September they told us he had days to live, he was in multiple organ failure, his kidneys were failing, his liver was failing, and he was in congestive heart failure.  They took him home to die.  We went to Arizona expecting to say our goodbyes and attend his funeral as did the remainder of my family.  We arrived on Thursday and I would have sworn he could die any minute.  He was too weak to get out of bed, or even roll over.  They’d moved a hospital bed in to the living room to easily get him in and out of.  He didn’t know who we were and he looked to be barely hanging on.  On Friday he had improved enough he was up and eating at the table a couple of meals a day.  He insisted on sitting up in bed, showering, getting actual clothes on, and sitting up to visit.  He was “impoving” so much the doctor sent the home health nurse over to draw blood to be sure he’d diagnosed him correctly!  By Sunday he was up almost all day and back to sleeping in his own bed!  Most of us went home on Monday and as we all said our goodbyes he gave us all hugs and told us “next time you visit I’ll be feeling better and we’ll really get to visit”.  I think subconsiously he probably knew it was our last visit, but for our benefit he wasn’t admitting it.  On Wednesday he woke up, got showered and dressed by himself, and wanted to know who the heck moved his reclier out of the living room!  He told my grandma and great-aunts they were going to have to find somewhere else to sleep because he wanted that hospital bed out of the living room and his chair back!!  That was early September…  Not only did he live for 3 more months, but he LIVED for 3 more months. He went out to eat, he went to tractor pulls, he went to Chamber and Rotary meetings.  He wasn’t about to let his body dictate his life.  I firmly believe he hung on for my Granny, he wasn’t letting go until he’d eeked out as much quality time with her as was humanly possible.

He did so well my aunts and my grandma all went home right after we did, home health and my Granny were all that was necessary as he was fully up and around and back to his normal ornery self.

Finally, his body got the better of him and he had to be hospitalized.  He began to have seizures and couldn’t breathe easily.  He had a “DNR” order in place so they made him as comfortable as possible until he let go and he fought up until the very end.

Over the last 3 months I’ve looked at the photos from our trip a hundred times.  I am always blown away when I see in each and EVERY photo, my Granny and Grandpa are holding hands.  So I went back through photos through the years and sure enough, in every single photo we’ve ever taken of them or with them they are holding hands.  When we were in Arizona my Granny never left his bedside.  We had to force her to eat.  She simply said “I may not have much time left to spend with him so I’m getting my time in”.

This couple who eloped as kids have a love that lasted them 69 years, a love even death can’t touch.  I can’t even tell you how it feels to know this kind of love exists, but more than that to know all of us are a product of this love…  It’s a legacy I can only hope to honor.

 

Letting go… November 13, 2007

Filed under: Family,Life,Love — Steph @ 9:28 pm

Today we buried one of the best people I’ve ever known.  An amazing husband, father, brother, son, and friend to SO many of us.  I can’t even begin to explain the sense of loss and the shock we are all still recovering from. 

If you want to read his obituary it’s here: http://www.webfh.com/fh/obituaries/obituary.cfm?o_id=152054&fh_id=10483&s_id=75B409EC1C8733F5B89B47734DDB5983

 The service was amazingly beautiful and touching and exhausting.

Friday in Page, Arizona my great-grandfather will be laid to rest, he finally let go yesterday after 90 years in this world more than 70 of those years spent with the same woman; loving her and the rest of us to the end.  I have another post on this subject but tonight I am just too numb to post it.

It’s been a long two weeks around here.