So I’ve been wondering the last couple of days; since when is fidelity arbitrary in a marriage? I realize most people now take the “to love, honor, and obey” portion out of their vows because they don’t care to “obey” one another, but I’ve not in my memory been to a wedding where the “forsaking all others” portion was not included.
I’m not just talking celebrities here either although the skanky tattoo model and Rielle Hunter are definitely making me scratch my head. Have we as human beings fallen so far from grace that marriage vows really mean this little to us? I can’t fathom it, I find it truly appalling. Maybe that’s judgmental of me and maybe I haven’t walked a mile in their shoes, but for cripes sakes people, divorce is a readily available option nowadays. It’s not like we’re in the stone ages. They’re not going to publicly flog you or execute you for divorcing. Well at least not in most countries, I guess there are countries that might but the US certainly isn’t one of them.
I really loathe the whole “I stay for the kids” excuse too. I HAVE been there and I can say with utter certainty, the kids know you’re miserable, you’re making them miserable too. Get OUT! Don’t cheat, it’s a lowly, scummy thing to do. If you’re cheating you’re the douche in the equation. I don’t care if your wife/husband beats you daily with wet noodles, you’re still the coward who is sleeping around and you’re probably putting yourself and your partner in danger if you’re not practicing safe sex. If you are a man cheating on your wife (or vice versa because it slices both ways) and s/he ends up with an STD do you really think you’re the innocent one in the situation? Can you really sit by and believe you’re in the right? Your spouse is to blame for your inability to keep it in your pants? I freaking dare you to go home and say “well honey, I gave you the Clap but really you’re to blame because you yelled at me yesterday so I HAD to go out and bang that stripper from the strip club you didn’t know I was at in the first place”. If you can say that with a straight face then please do leave me a comment and let me know!
And while we’re on the subject, what constitutes cheating to you? Is it that first verbal communication? Is it sexting (I can’t say that with a straight face seriously, WTF?), is it that first call to 1-900-iam-whore, is it the repeated visits to internet porn sites, or best yet the repeated visits to the “Married But Looking” Yahoo chat rooms (yes they exist, I looked it up)? Or is it the first physical interaction? I know for me it would be all of the above.
If I felt my husband was out doing ANY of those things I would feel like less of a woman, less of a human being, like I wasn’t measuring up or wasn’t fulfilling him somehow. Is that the point of infidelity in the first place? To make your spouse feel like they aren’t measuring up? I’d love if someone would clarify this all for me because I simply don’t get it at all but I’m guessing if you’re cheating your spouse is feeling exactly like that so for the love of all that’s Holy, divorce them first and then call the 1-900 number!
I won’t even delve in to the “3rd party” in any cheating equation because it just makes me sick. All I will say is don’t sit there and tell me how nice of a person Rielle Hunter is, she could be out adopting all of the homeless kittens & puppies in the world and I’d still think she’s a skank who posed half naked with her kid in the room for a little publicity. Shame on us all if this is the world we’re leaving behind for our children.