Who are these kids and why are they calling me mom?

Sometimes you just have to put on your big girl panties and deal with it

I took the plunge! May 30, 2010

Filed under: Blogging — Steph @ 9:16 pm
Tags:

I moved my blog to my own domain.  I am still trying to figure out how the heck to redirect it so until then please just go to: http://www.fromunderthepiles.com

Make sure to update your subscriptions!!  Sorry for the being a pain!!  I do hope you’ll join me!

 

Nap Time? Not Really May 29, 2010

Filed under: Kids,Love — Steph @ 11:27 am
Tags: , ,

Yesterday was a LONG day.  I will write about it tomorrow.  I just wanted to say apparently Mother Nature was reading my post yesterday because she took her meds.  It was a gorgeous day!  I even dare say it was a bit too hot!  No rain as was predicted.  We did have some rain in the middle of the night but none to spoil our fun day at the school.  Also?  The weather report has changed for the weekend and while it’s supposed to be cool it is NOT supposed to rain!  I am awesome that way.  You’re welcome!

_______________________________________________

I live for Elizabeth’s nap time.  It drives my mom and my MIL crazy.  She doesn’t nap in her own bed.  She did until after the fire and then she didn’t anymore.  At first I thought it was the upheaval.  Then I thought, well duh; she napped in my bed or my mom’s bed the whole time we stayed there after the fire, she’s just confused.  Not only will she not nap in her own bed but she insists I lay down with her.  This is where my mom and MIL enter in.  They don’t like to lay down with her and she doesn’t nap well for them on the rare occasion she’s at one of their houses during nap time.  I don’t mind.  In fact it’s my favorite time of day.  Why?  Because nap time = snuggle time.  Elizabeth is a lot like an unbroken colt.  She’s always kicking and bucking and trying to run through fences but at times you see a glimpse of the heart in her.  Nap time is one of the few times I see that glimpse.  She’s not a snuggler, she never has been.  Not even as an infant.  She snuggles when she’s sick and when she’s exhausted.  Never any other time.  Any other time she’s testing those fences for weak wire or a gap big enough to fit through.  So when I say “it’s nap time” and she says “you coming to lay down with me” I say “of course” and I relish it.  I lay next to her and she snuggles up with me, laying as close as possible without actually laying on top of me.  Before she falls asleep she talks while we snuggle.  It’s usually a very deep conversation for her.  Whatever has been going on in her amazingly active head that day comes out at nap time.  The other day?  It was monsters.  Here’s the conversation:

E: My baby needs a bandaid for her broken heart

Me: OK, but where is her heart?

E: I don’t know mommy

Me: Do you know where your heart is?

E: I don’t have a heart

Me: Of course you do, everyone does.  It’s in your chest.

E: I don’t have a chest, what’s a chest?

Me: Well it’s right here above your tummy

E: My heart isn’t in my tummy, I don’t have a heart

Me: I promise you do, right here

E: No, because there’s cheese in there and I pooped out the cheese

Me: *snort* well you can’t poop out your heart

E: The monster stole my heart

Me: What monster?  There’s no such thing as monsters *she DOES NOT believe this no matter how many times I tell her*

E: Yeah huh, in my closet and he stole my heart.

Me: *laying my head on her chest* I can hear your heart beating right here where it belongs

E: It’s a pink, poofy heart with sparkles.

Me: Of course and monsters that don’t exist certainly don’t like pink, poofy, sparkly things.

E: I hope I don’t poop out my heart tomorrow *she says it like tamarrow with a short ‘a’ sound for some reason she has a bit of a Texas accent a lot of times despite being a Wyoming kid*

Me: Me too

How can you not live for that time of day?  They say I am missing out because I could use that time to do housework, have some downtime, take a shower, etc… They say she’s too old to nap in my bed.  I say she will never be too old for my favorite part of the day and they’re the ones missing out.  I so hope I’m right!

PS/I did NOT explain the digestive system to her.  I have NO idea where she learned where poop comes from, I’ve actually been contemplating that since this conversation took place.

 

Spring, Spring, Springity, Spring, Spring May 28, 2010

Filed under: Family,Kids,Life — Steph @ 9:04 am
Tags: , , , ,

I usually LOVE Spring.  I mean I really do.  It’s my all time favorite season.  Probably because I’m an animal lover and oh, oh, OH the babies!!  Also because I LOVE to toil in the dirt and plant things and work in my yard and HELLO it’s Spring!  This year though?  Not loving it so much so far.  Don’t get me wrong I love seeing the calves, lambs, bird’s nests that surely have eggs in them, chicks, ducklings, goslings, etc…  and I LOVE that it’s SO green this year, but it’s been impossible to really enjoy Spring this year.  Let me tell you why:

  • Spring in Wyoming is volatile at best.  We have our worst snowstorms in the Spring.  We can go all year with minimal snow and come April and May watch out!   You could have 70 degrees one day and a foot of snow the next!  When I was young I just loved this.  The big Spring snowstorms meant snow measured in feet rather than inches and it meant heavy, wet snow that’s perfect for building snow forts and snow men.  It also meant you could go outside the next day and actually play in the snow because it’s not 50 below zero with the windchill.  It rarely hits 50 below here in ambient temperature but the wind blows CONSTANTLY here so you never hear someone say it’s -15 with a windchill of -50.  Instead it’s “well it’s -50 today”.  In Spring it’s rarely cold so the kids can actually play in all of that lovely white fluff!  This year though?  We had two piddly snowstorms, but we’ve had rain.  Oh my gosh the rain!!  A friend from high school actually posted on her Facebook status “welcome to Seattle, Wyoming”.  I felt the SAME way.  It has been crazy!!  Last week it POURED rain for two straight days.  Some places had 4 inches of rain in 24 hours.  That caused a bunch of flooding both indoors and out for a lot of people.  For us it was a great test of our new house.  We discovered our house doesn’t leak!  However we didn’t have a chance to put up window well covers since we moved in January and when one window well had 6 inches of rain standing in it the window did start to seep around the frame.  All in all not bad though.  Then the day before yesterday the Spring storms really hit with a vengeance.  They are early this year.  VERY early.  Usually it’s mid to late June before we see severe weather.  This year?  We had tornado watches, actual funnel clouds were formed (thankfully not touching down), and then it HIT and we had golf-ball sized hail driven by 40 mile an hour winds.  First, I wanted to cry because hello, new house!!  Then I just prayed the windows would hold!!  Elizabeth was absolutely terrified and Joey?  Joey had a panic attack.  I should probably stop here and tell you why hail scares Joey.  A few years ago we were at Relay For Life (something we did every year from the time  he was a newborn, there was even a write up in the hospital newsletter about the then 4-year-old who had been on the hospital’s team since infancy but that’s a story for another time) anyway, we were at Relay and all of the sudden the radio dj’s came over the loud speakers and said “GO HOME NOW”.  The sense of urgency was something I can’t quite convey.  There was a major storm coming with tornadoes and large hail and it was heading straight for us.  I threw Joey in the car and headed home.  We made it almost home before the hail stones started hitting the car.  We stopped in the middle of the road with the other cars and ALL I could see was a wall of black with HUGE white stones hammering us.  The first stone cracked the windshield of my car and they just.kept.hitting.  With every stone it broke a little more.  I can not tell you how terrifying that was.  I was stuck in the car with my 4-year-old and I was FREAKING OUT.  I quickly grabbed him out of the booster seat and threw him on the floor under the dashboard and covered him with my body.  I can’t even tell you how loud it was.  Then all of the sudden horns were honking and cars stopped around us started hauling ass out of there.  I risked a glance around and still all I could see was this wall of black but I noticed the wind had picked up.  I weighed my options and figured the cars facing us must have a better view and if they were moving we better move too.  Driving in that?   It causes the hail to hit harder.  By now I was shaking like a leaf and trying so hard to stay composed so as not to scare Joey worse but inside?  I was saying silent prayers with fervor and crying.  We made it home fairly quickly and GOD BLESS FORD because my windshield held.  I would later see that the only place it actually punched clear through the windshield was in the upper most portion of the windshield.  Oddly enough that’s the thickest glass.  My car was completely hammered but somehow that glass held.  By the time we got home the storm had passed but within a few minutes I would find out what prompted those cars to move.  What I couldn’t see was a tornado bearing straight down on us, driving those baseball sized hail stones.  So, you can see why Joey is terrified of storms.  At 10-years-old he still suffers from some PTSD from that day and I think probably always will.  The storms the day before yesterday weren’t even close to as bad as that one was years ago but they were bad enough.  Half of the town is hail damaged.  My house thankfully suffered no damage.  The hail here was ping pong ball sized, as it moved past us they got bigger, by the time it made it’s way a little further north they were golf-ball sized and they caused a lot of damage, the 40 mile per hour winds didn’t help.  My dad’s cars on his car lot took some serious damage, my brother’s house did as well.  A friend’s house really got hammered and had broken windows and skylights and water poured in to her house.  It’s not over by a long shot.  It’s early.  Today they are predicting similar storms and possibly even worse.  The Storm Chasers are in town (or so I’ve been told)!  That my friends is NEVER a good sign!  So, I’m not loving the weather this Spring at all, even though you get used to it, when it hits this early you can only assume it’s going to get worse and when you’ve had a house destroyed you really don’t want to think about what could happen to the new house you just bought!  Thankfully no one was seriously injured or killed during our storms, people here know, if they issue a warning you get your butt in the house and stay there.
  • I just realized pretty much all of the reasons I’m not loving Spring center around the weather!  Sorry to be redundant!  Anyway, can you say cabin fever?  Elizabeth is bored, I am bored.  If it’s not raining it’s MUDDY.  The playgrounds are under water so we can’t go play at them.  Our yard is a muddy mess because we haven’t landscaped it yet so we can’t really play there.  We did take advantage of the break in the weather yesterday and go ride bikes on the road, but we want to go play on the slides and swings.  Elizabeth wants to play in the sand and/or dirt.  I want to plant flowers and get my yard in order.  Without slogging through the mud we just can’t do any of this.  Elizabeth is actually amusing herself by (not kidding here) either playing with her big ball in the house, rolling it around calling it “baby” and treating it like a baby doll (no I have no clue why, she has a million actual baby dolls) and/or last night and today she’s playing with plastic clothes hangers and her toy necklaces?  I have no idea people.  I am thankful she has a very active imagination that keeps her busy most of the time.  The rest of the time she’s been a challenge.  We tried the public library a few weeks ago and that was a DISASTER.  She just does NOT have the patience to be good in the library.  I am signing her up for dance class and swimming lessons when they open registration because I am just exhausted.  I would also love a shower but I can’t take one unless someone else is home because she’ll spend that 10 minutes getting in to something she’s not supposed to be in to.  It’s a good thing we’re stuck inside because in a stiff wind I might be toxic to bystanders.
  • My allergies are KILLING me.  I have had miserable seasonal allergies forever.  When I was young I spent my Summers anywhere but at home.  That usually meant at my grandma’s house in Colorado or at my uncle’s ranch.  Before I could go either place I would have to have allergy shots.  With all this moisture the pollen count is off the charts and my head feels like it’s going to explode.  Today is Joey’s field day at school and Elizabeth and I are going but I feel awful.  Hopefully the Sudafed kicks in soon and I’m going to have to make an appointment for allergy shots or I won’t make it through the rest of the storm season.
  • School is out next week.  Joey will be home all day.  I am actually excited about this because he can entertain his sister so I can shower every day!  I don’t know how I’ll handle that!!  I am praying the weather eases off a bit.  I am hoping to set up some play dates with my nephews since there really aren’t any kids on our street and as much as I love them all I do not want to be cooped up inside with all four kids.  We want to be able to go to the pool or the playground and/or play in the yard!

The kids and I are going to tackle Spring cleaning this weekend.  I wanted to spend the weekend planting flowers and playing in the dirt but the weather is supposed to be horrible so I am going to hold off buying my flowers.  So far the forecast looks better for next week so I’m hoping to be able to get out there and start playing in the dirt.  I just hope I can breathe while doing it!!

 

Michelle “Bombshell” McGee May 26, 2010

I know you’re probably rolling your eyes but I just can’t help it!!  We all know I posted about cheating a while back.  I’ll admit that was a rather judgey post on my part.  I’m not sorry.  I still feel very strongly that cheating is just wrong when divorce is a viable option.  I want to clarify a couple of things though.  I don’t consider it cheating if you’re waiting for a divorce to be finalized.  Divorces take time and if people are truly unhappy and feel they’d be happier with someone else then I don’t think they should necessarily have to wait to move on.  If the relationship has ended it has ended.  Secondly, I have been cheated on and so I of course have a biased view, I don’t think that makes my view the wrong view but you’re welcome to disagree.  I still say the person hurt when cheating comes in to play more often than not ends up being the person cheated on while the others involved are 100% responsible for their own feelings and if they thought they’d be hurt they should have kept it zipped up.

That leads me to today.  Michelle McGee of course gave an exclusive interview to In Touch Weekly (suppose she did this one for free??) about her reaction to the Jesse James interview.  http://www.intouchweekly.com/2010/05/in_touch_exclusivemichelle_bom.php  Before I could write this post I had to go take a shower because I felt dirty just reading this BS.  So because I know you care, here are my thoughts.

1. She just got caught in a big fat lie.  She originally told In Touch that she didn’t know he was still in a relationship with Sandra Bullock.  She said he led her to believe they were not staying married.  Then she said he said his marriage was a sham, for publicity and that it was ending.  She even went so far as to say the catalyst for her deciding to spill her guts was not for the pathetic amount of money she was paid but it was because she saw them together at the Oscars and realized she’d been duped.  In this article she clearly says he went to great lengths to hide their relationship.  So either she’s the dumbest person on the planet and didn’t realize having to hide probably meant he was lying, or she knew full well he was married and lying.  I don’t necessarily think she’s dumb.  I think she’s opportunistic and self centered but she doesn’t strike me as dumb.  I do think she should have held out for more money.  If she was going to cash in on ruining people’s lives why not shop around for someone who would most certainly pay more for the story?

2. Am I the only one who saw “me, me, me” in that article??  She’s pissed because he didn’t apologize to her for her embarrassment.  WTF??  SHE went public, she sold the story, she let the cat out of the bag.  Once again she fails to accept any responsibility for her own participation here.  That just pissed me right off.  She embarrassed herself by airing her dirty laundry for $5k.  She’s not owed an apology for her embarrassment in my opinion.  Plus I find it hard to believe she has the ability to actually feel embarrassment.  She has a freaking tatoo on her forehead (not to mention other places I’m not typing because it just allows pervs to google me) and gets naked for a living.  That to me says she has a pretty thick skin and is probably not easily embarrassed.

3. Did I mention this whole thing just makes me feel dirty??  I really think I need another shower.  I hope she’s had herself deloused after all of this because I can’t imagine she truly feels clean here.

As for him, all I can say is UGH.  I don’t feel like he truly is remorseful.  If he is remorseful he sure didn’t convince me.  Instead what I see is yet another person feeling sorry for themselves for a situation they caused.  I also see him dodging his responsibility here, so he went to rehab to find some deep rooted trauma to blame his behavior on?  I don’t know if his dad abused him or not, but what I do know is lots of people are abused and don’t use it as an excuse.  I know it’s fairly common for abused people to become abusers of some kind or another and I feel for them I truly do, but there are just as many people out there who go on to be productive non-douchey members of society after they’ve been abused.  I’m probably gonna get hate mail over those statements…  To me his entire interview was one big cop out and a big pity party.  He just didn’t ring sincere for me and frankly even if he had I would still think he’s a douche.  I actually think Tiger Woods was way more honest and humble in his brief press conference and I am really not fond of him either.  At least he admitted he had a sense of entitlement and was a jerk, he didn’t blame it on anyone or anything else.  I would have had a lot more respect for Jesse if he’d done the same.

I feel sorry for his kids because they are now in the spotlight and know what their dad did and because they’ve lost someone who was apparently a very good influence in their lives.  Divorce isn’t easy on anyone but for the kids it’s always worse.  I feel very sorry for Sandra Bullock and not just because she was cheated on repeatedly, but because she’s a fiercely private individual who seems to take great care when inviting people in to her life and she trusted him to help her continue to live a private life and he shattered that trust.  I hope she can heal, re-establish that privacy, continue to have some kind of calming influence in the life of his kids if she really does choose to, and most of all I hope against hope she didn’t let this whole fiasco steal a single moment of her happiness over her new role as a mother.  THAT would truly be the biggest tragedy of this entire mess.

 

Mama’s Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Bullies May 21, 2010

Filed under: In The News — Steph @ 9:50 am
Tags: , , , ,

There’s been a ton in the news lately about bullying.  Cyber bullying, face to face bullying, all around viciousness on the part of tweens and teens.  Two children are dead and another had to be admitted to the hospital and those are just the stories that made the news.  Bullying is a REAL problem but it’s not a new problem.  You would think schools would have figured out how to spot it by now and would take it seriously but they don’t.  Enter in the age of social media and kids are in ever more danger.

I wasn’t bullied as a kid, I was outgoing and friendly and I never had a “clique”.  I was always friendly with everyone from every different group or “clique” and aside from a broken heart at 17 when my highschool sweetheart and I ended our relationship, I had a very positive school experience.  Of course there was a little drama, I was a girl and teenage girls are nothing if not dramatic at times, but nothing I can actually point to and say “wow I was bullied”.  Of course we didn’t have Facebook or MySpace then.  We barely had internet, it was very new at the time.  (Stop counting my gray hairs I’m not THAT old).  The worst we had were “teen telephone lines” and paper notes passed in class.

I went to a fairly small elementary school where we were all friends.  I think there were about 15 of us in our actual classroom and about 40 in our grade.  We grew up together, we lived near each other, we spent time together outside of school.  We played games until midnight in the street.  We played kickball, red rover, baseball, you name it.  We had extra curricular activities together.  We played soccer through the rec center’s leagues and we played Little League baseball.  We were a tight-knit group.  Most of us are still in contact today in some capacity or another.  I do vividly remember a couple of kids who were always on the outskirts though.  They were standoffish for one reason or another.  Just a little different and not interested so much in being friends.  Even so, I don’t remember a single bullying incident in that school.

Fast forward a few years and we move on to middle school.  We have two middle schools here.  The town is split by the interstate which runs right through the center give or take.  Kids on the north side went to one middle school and kids on the south went to the other.  It was a different environment for sure.  We all moved up together but soon some of us would drift off from the central group.  I think that’s totally normal, don’t get me wrong.  Middle school offered many, many different activities, clubs, more sports, etc…  In some capacity we would all still be friends, but we made other friends as well and as our interests grew so did our groups of friends.  I know there were disputes among class mates in that school but I don’t remember bullying the likes of what we see today.

I would get my first real taste of bullying in high school.  It’s not my story it’s the story of a girl I was very friendly with in high school.  Someone I still bump in to today and speak to.  Someone whose life was quite literally ruined by bullying.  I know she won’t mind my sharing her story so I’m going to share my view of what happened to her so you can see just how serious bullying can be.

We were sophomores in high school.  This girl (we’ll call her Nancy*) and I met in middle school and became good friends.  She’d been to my home several times and I to hers.  I enjoyed her parents very much and she was a lot of fun.  Toward the end of our sophomore year she met a boy.  To be honest I didn’t think he was that big of a catch at the time and he really isn’t now, but that’s neither here nor there, she liked him very much and he her.  The problem was he’d just ended a relationship with another girl.  Apparently it was quite serious, or as serious a relationship as a 16-year-old can have; which of course at the time that seems like the only relationship you’ll ever have and it’s such a big deal to you.  Anyway, they dated throughout the Summer and that would be the beginning of the problems.  It started with nasty phone calls to my friend’s home from this other girl and her friends.  Over the course of the Summer it would escalate to them going to her apartment to “ding-dong ditch” and eventually it got to the point they were using chalk or worse to write things on her apartment door.  Nancy and I worked together that year at a local restaurant.  I don’t want to say which one because that might blow the anonymity I am striving for.  They would follow her to work.  She lived close to work so she often walked.  It got to the point her mom, my mom, and our boss wouldn’t let her walk anymore.  She always had a ride which I now shudder at.  How horrible to not be able to walk down the street in your own town?!

She wouldn’t bow to them though.  She held her head up and continued to see this boy until towards the end of the Summer when the relationship had run its course.  They parted as friends.  I remember thinking how brave she was to continue to see this boy through all of this.  I feel it’s important to mention that by this point the interactions with these girls were not physical in nature.  There were threats of physical violence on their part but for the most part it was them name calling and threatening.  I’m not going to illiterate the name calling here because I don’t want pervs searching my blog but I’m sure you can imagine what they were like.

Finally we would start our junior year of high school.  You would think the end of the relationship would have been enough for these girls but, not so much.  The boy and his original girlfriend got back together (I know, right?) and she of course blamed my friend for their whole 4 month separation.  As our year in school started the harassment escalated.  My friend couldn’t walk down certain hallways in the school.  If she went to her locker between classes she was met with this girl and her group of friends who would threaten and intimidate her over and over.  Finally it did escalate to actual physical violence.  They would slam her head in to her locker, push her around, etc…  So my friend went to the school administrators and the guidance counselor for help.  Their solution?  They brought in this group of girls, sat them all down with my friend and made them apologize.  End of story for them.  That of course made it worse and it was just miserable.  Each time my friend asked an adult for help the same thing would happen.  They’d sit them down to “talk it out”.  My friend was becoming more and more depressed and despondent.  Her parents were worried she would become suicidal.  They called the police for help.  The police allowed as how they couldn’t help until she was physically attacked, but they could speak sternly to this group of girls and their parents and try to scare them a little.  As you can imagine these girls had little to no respect for authority and that just really pissed them off worse.  Finally one day after school they followed my friend after school and beat her up.  They broke several ribs and her nose.  The police were called and citations were issued.  The school officials promised to “monitor the situation more closely” as my friend was attacked before she was able to even leave the school grounds.  Her parents were terrified by this point as was Nancy, but she just refused to let these girls win.  Her parents wanted to pull her out of school but she refused.

Nancy’s dad was a veteran, he’d served in Vietnam and was retired army.  He kept a collection of antique pistols.  They weren’t locked up because most of them didn’t fire and if they did you couldn’t get ammo for them.  So really they were of little danger in the home.  The biggest threat they posed was probably to encourage a burglar as they were probably quite valuable.  The day after Nancy was attacked she would stick one of those pistols in her backpack.  Just like every other day for the past 7 months these girls met her at her locker and they were furious they’d been cited by the police.  Nancy reached in to her bag, pulled out the antique pistol and pointed it at them.  Two things happened at that point.  First, the girls immediately left her alone and would never bother her again.  Second, a teacher walked by and saw the gun.  He asked a very distraught Nancy to slowly hand him the gun which she did.  All the while she’s being very clear that it’s not loaded.  That in fact no ammo even exists for it.  Of course that made no difference.  She brought a weapon to school.  She was in big trouble.  The police were called.  She was arrested, placed in handcuffs and taken to jail.  She was also expelled from school.  Her high school career was over.

Her parents hired a good attorney and he argued she was under extreme duress, the weapon wasn’t loaded, couldn’t be loaded, posed no threat, and in fact if anyone was responsible it was the school administrators who failed to protect Nancy on their watch.  The judge gave her several years of supervised probation and ordered her record expunged when she hit 18, provided she completed her probation.

One of the requirements of her probation was that she attend school every day.  To this day I scratch my head over that because she’d been expelled.  It was not possible for her to do that.  Her parents though would not give up.  They sued the school, they felt the school didn’t do enough to protect Nancy and she was seriously injured on school property due to a lack of supervision of these girls.  A judge would agree with them after several months but he was not comfortable placing Nancy back in the main stream school population.  He feared retribution from this group of girls and the school had already proven they had no interest in intervening so he ordered the school district admit her to our local alternative school.  The alternative school is a school they opened just a couple of years before this incident where they would send kids who couldn’t handle main stream school for one reason or another.  It actually quite quickly became a school where several pregnant teenage girls would go and to this day that’s a big part of their program, but that’s an entirely different post.

Because it took months for the lawsuit to be settled, Nancy would re-enter school several credits short of what she needed to graduate with our class.  This happens with this school quite frequently actually, they don’t offer the right curriculum so kids can’t graduate on time.  She would have to finish out the year and then start the next year as a junior all over again.  Because it was court ordered she had no choice.  She would however go on to finish her probation and then drop out and get her GED.

I am somewhat ashamed to admit that once she was expelled we fell out of touch.  I would still call her every few months but I was busy with school and extra curricular activities and somewhere in there my world came crashing down when my high school relationship ended and frankly I just had my own problems and my own life to live and it wasn’t parallel with hers any more.

She remained employed at the same restaurant we worked in that Summer so I would see her when I went in there.  I would always inquire as to how she was and make small talk.  Eventually I went off to college, came back, got married, etc… and though I knew she’d gotten married and had a baby I lost track of her almost completely.

Fast forward to about 7 years ago.  This is getting long but I don’t want to break it in to two parts so I’ll try to wrap it up.  About 7 years ago meth hit here with a vengeance.  I know it’s a nationwide problem but Wyoming has a HUGE meth problem.  I opened our local newspaper one day to see a story about a huge drug bust.  The Wyoming division of criminal investigation and our local law enforcement got a tip from a manager of a local hotel that there was a large amount of traffic in and out of one of their rooms for months.  Lots and lots of high school kids in and out.  After watching the operation for 3 months they made their move and took down the operation which would turn out to be one of the biggest meth busts we’ve seen.  The dealer in this case made $180,000 in 3 months selling meth.  Sadly the bulk of the meth was sold at our local high school by high school kids used as runners.  That’s also a post for another day!  Imagine my surprise when I saw the name of the dealer in the paper and it was Nancy!  WTH?!  I was blown away.  I followed the case in the news for the next couple of months and saw that she pled guilty to felony trafficking.  As a part of a plea deal she agreed to go to the high schools in the state and speak to the kids about the dangers of meth.  She was sentenced to 10 years in prison with a possibility of parole after 5 years.  In exchange for her cooperation in taking down her supplier and speaking to the school kids she would almost certainly only serve her bottom number of 5 years and she would not be charged federally.  Her husband it turns out was the king pin of the operation and he was charged federally and is serving time in a federal prison.  While in prison she filed for divorce.

About two years ago I was in the same restaurant Nancy had worked at so many years ago and imagine my surprise when she served me!  She’d served her 5 years and was out on parole.  I nervously asked how her parents were and how she was and then I went on my way.  A few months later I would see her again at Joe’s company Christmas party.  After being released from prison she’d met and married a man who worked with Joe.  She was pregnant with her second child and had full custody of her oldest child.  These days she and her husband own that restaurant here in town and I don’t know that anyone even really knows what she did or who she is.

After that Christmas party Joe and I were talking.  Actually I was talking and he was trying not to fall asleep.  I wondered about her life and the path it had taken.  I couldn’t help but wonder if her life would have been very different had she not been bullied so mercilessly all of those years ago.  She’d been a good student and a good friend once.  I really couldn’t honestly say how she would have turned out had that not happened to her, but to this day I frequently wonder after her and can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe she’d have taken a very different path had she not been bullied, expelled, arrested, etc…

**Please note I have changed her name because she is a local business owner.  Obviously much of her life was lived out in the papers, but just the same I don’t want to cause problems with her business or put her family in danger

***Also please note, I do not in ANY way condone any of her actions over the course of the years.  She made many choices that I don’t support in ANY WAY.  I’m a mother obviously I do not condone her choice to sell an extremely dangerous and addictive drug to our local school children nor do I support her choice to bring a firearm to school and I don’t mean for this post to make excuses for her choices and behavior at all.  I really hope it doesn’t come across that way!!

 

Happy Mother’s Day May 9, 2010

Filed under: Family,Kids — Steph @ 12:07 pm

I am having a great Mother’s Day and I hope the rest of you are as well!  I am a little bummed this year though.  Usually Mother’s Day is my favorite holiday.  Not because I get gifts, or cards, or anything like that, I usually don’t I prefer it that way.  I much prefer the home made gifts Joey brings home from school.  Usually we get to spend Mother’s Day outside in the yard.  For us it’s almost always the real start of Spring around here.  It usually marks the beginning of the safe planting season in our crummy climate.  Not this year!  If you know me at all you know that one of my favorite past times is working in my yard and garden.  Usually on Mother’s Day I get to go pick out flowers and start planting!  This year though Mother Nature is still suffering from a serious case of PMS and we’re supposed to have more snow next week.  No planting for us in the foreseeable future and I am so excited to get planting this year since I have this great big blank canvas this year at our new house!!

That’s OK though!  Instead I am spending a lazy day with my kiddos and of course there’s never anything better than that!!  I hope you’re all having a great day!!

 

Mornings May 7, 2010

Filed under: ADHD,Kids — Steph @ 8:27 am

I loathe mornings.  When I was younger I loathed them for entirely different reasons.  I was NEVER a morning person.  Even clear up until a couple of years ago I was not a morning person.  For some reason after the fire that changed.  I go to bed earlier and get up earlier and I don’t hate mornings.  I actually love my time in the mornings before the kids get up.  I have a cup of coffee with one or all of my dogs and just enjoy the quiet.  Then Joey gets up and I am thrust in to some kind of torture I surely haven’t done anything to deserve!!

The child is a dawdler of the variety I can not adequately express in words!  I can wake him up two hours before the school bus is due and he will STILL be rushing out the door as she’s honking her horn!!  It.drives.me.crazy!!  I don’t know how to fix it.  I have tried everything from waking him up two hours early so he has that time to dawdle to waking him up thirty minutes early so he doesn’t.  It makes absolutely no difference.  He will inevitably be in that rush to get out the door before the driver of the bus gives up and drives off.

I’ve tried laying his clothes out the night before, whether I choose them or he does it makes no difference.  The morning will come and with the morning sun comes the inevitable decision “Mom, I can’t possibly wear THAT to school”.  Then I send him to his room to get dressed in whatever outfit he’s finally deemed acceptable and it will take him 45 minutes to put on his pants.  By this time I am not so quietly reminding him the bus will be here in 20, 15, 10, 5 minutes…  He NEVER has time for breakfast.  If he’s up two hours early he will still not have take the time for breakfast.  I will ask him 100 times what he wants and 100 times he’ll say “I’m not hungry yet” or “there’s no food in the house”.  Of course that’s not true.

So today he was up in plenty of time as usual.  Thirty minutes before the bus is due to arrive I tell him to go get dressed.  Thus begins my every five minute reminding him he needs to get a move on.  Today five minutes before the bus was due it was “mom I can’t find socks” so I dutifully find him the socks.  Then three minutes before the bus is due it’s “I need a sandwich, my teacher is making egg salad for lunch today and I HATE egg salad, I can’t possibly eat that, I will starve!”.  I allowed as how he had PLENTY of time early in the morning to make said sandwich and he chose to use his time poorly so he was just going to have to ask his teacher to allow him to get a hot lunch from the lunch room or eat the egg salad that I assured him WILL NOT kill him.  As he’s stomping out the door I explain I am NOT making an entire bus full of children late to school because he chose to wait until the last minute to bring up the sandwich issue.

He stomps out, slams the door and mumbles to himself all the way down the driveway to the bus.  I am quite certain I do not want to know what was being mumbled.

Just another typical morning around here.  Man I love ADHD in the mornings!  It totally sets the tone for my whole day!

 

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.