Who are these kids and why are they calling me mom?

Sometimes you just have to put on your big girl panties and deal with it

My Day – Part 2 April 23, 2010

Filed under: ADHD,Kids — Steph @ 8:28 am
Tags: , ,

Just for Amy I am doing this before I do anything else today.  🙂

So when we left off I was on the phone with my mom and the call waiting beeped in with Joey’s teacher’s cell phone number showing on the screen.  I knew her number because she called me Tuesday.  I put my mom on hold and clicked over.

I wrote a while back about Joey being different. He has been doing EXTREMELY well behavior wise in school, but they can tell if he doesn’t take his meds.  On Tuesday he forgot to take his meds and his teacher called to tell me he’d had a really “off task” day.  Apparently there were 3 of them “off task” that day and she just had a heck of a day.  Joey received two “re-focus slips” which essentially means they sent him to another room to calm down and re-focus his behavior.  When Joey got home that evening he was really on the defensive about his behavior.  Unfortunately he’s using his meds as a crutch for bad behavior.  When I asked him what the deal was he was all “I just couldn’t focus and get on task mom, people were talking to me and I had to talk back to them and then I got in trouble and no one else did and it’s all because I forgot to take my pill” and so on…

One thing we are really struggling to accomplish with Joey is to make him accountable for his actions and behavior.  He’s the king of “it wasn’t my fault!”  He is forever blaming everyone else for his poor choices and now he blames his illness.  He’s been like that for a couple of years now and I talk until I’m blue in the face and he still just doesn’t take accountability.

Anyway, now you have the “back story” to yesterday’s phone call.  When I clicked over it was Joey on the phone and he was crying really hard.  So hard I could NOT understand what he was saying.  At first I thought he was hurt but after a minute or so I managed to figure out he wasn’t hurt but was instead in trouble.  Finally his teacher came on the phone to explain to me what was going on.

She explained he had gotten a 3rd “re-focus” that morning in art class and when you get three of them you have to stay after school at what they call “Academic Academy”.  She asked if he’d had his meds and I assured her he definitely had that morning.  I asked her if he was having another bad day and she said she didn’t really know because she had only seen him briefly that morning.  They go straight to “specials” which happened to be art yesterday.  We talked a little more about his behavior that week.  She actually felt bad he was going to have to stay after school.  She told me she’s pretty lenient with him in some things, especially on what she said are his (very rare since he’s been on meds) “off days”.  She explained how on days he didn’t have his meds she could tell right away and he was like a little “bee buzzing around the classroom talking and flitting and just off task”.   She said she had to follow through with the “Academic Academy” consequence for him because it was a school rule and his 3rd strike was not in her class room.  I assured her I completely understood.  I think she felt bad because his reaction to the discipline was so drastic.  I have NO idea why he was SO upset over it.  He doesn’t like getting in trouble, he’s very sensitive that way, always has been and he’s had a really rough week and made some poor choices that had some severe consequences at home so I can only assume he was afraid of what punishment he’d face at home this time.  To be honest I didn’t really have anything left to punish him with when he got home yesterday.  He’d  had a really bad day on Tuesday and is already grounded from his computer, DS, and sleepovers so I really didn’t have anything left!!  I won’t go in to the whole day on Tuesday because this post is already getting long, I will just say he stayed after school for “Activity Club” on Tuesday but when I got there to pick him up he wasn’t where he was supposed to be and he had lied repeatedly to a teacher that afternoon about where he was supposed to be.  That got him grounded.

She also told me he takes a short time in the mornings to settle down and get focused.  I think he needs to take his meds a bit earlier in the morning so they kick in before he actually gets to class and needs to be on task.  They are time release meds and they’re made to focus them during the day when they really need to be focused but wear off in time for bed so they can sleep.  We’re still learning exactly when they are most effective.

So, that’s my story.  All of this happened before 11 AM.  I know this part isn’t quite as intriguing as the first part but it all fit together to make my day just super fun!

I had to laugh when I was telling my mom about Joey and his “Academic Academy”.  Why can’t they just call it detention?  That’s essentially what it is?!  I’m guessing the new term is meant to lessen the blow to the kid’s self esteem?  But I truly have no idea.

The best part?  When Joey got home yesterday after spending an hour after school he says “I actually kind of enjoyed the Academic Academy because I got to get caught up on homework”

I was totally speechless, but I thought “only my son would enjoy detention”.

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