1. No matter how old I get my son will apparently always know more than me. If you don’t believe me, just ask him!
2. My house is not self cleaning. There are no such things as little elves who show up in the middle of the night and do your work for you.
3. If I don’t wash the laundry, fold it, and put it away; I will end up re-washing it, folding it, and putting it away
4. 10 year olds are physically incapable of cleaning up after themselves
5. If I don’t replace the toilet paper, no one will
6. No matter how many laundry hampers I set out the dirty clothes will still end up on the floor, generally they’ll be on the floor NEXT to the laundry hampers
8. Humans are the only mammals that don’t have penis bones.
9. White dogs are cute when they’re puppies but they won’t stay white, they will actually require multiple baths a week to stay white. Give up on it, embrace the dinge!
10. I am not the only woman who doesn’t shave her legs in the Winter. We need that extra layer for warmth ya’ll
11. If you wake up with a headache radiating down your neck your kids will choose that day to be as loud as is possible
12. Your son and husband have good intentions but that X-Box and the latest NHL game are just too irresistible, you will end up doing their chores for them too