Who are these kids and why are they calling me mom?

Sometimes you just have to put on your big girl panties and deal with it

You can take the cat out of the jungle February 3, 2008

Filed under: Family,Kids,Life — Steph @ 2:53 pm

If you have a cat you know they’re largely nocturnal.  It’s amazing to me how years of domestication can’t change the fundamental being.  Like a tiger who sleeps 20 hours a day, the house cat is so similar even after being bred forever to be domesticated.  It’s no different than a domesticated dog still having the pack mentality.  To them you are simply the “Alpha dog” at least you are if they’re trained well.  🙂  I mention this because my siamese mix has this insane desire to play while you’re sleeping and you’re bound to wake up with her having attacked your feet in the night if they twitched. 

What do you do when your child and their father have nothing in common?  This is a problem that causes me a large amount of grief.  Joe and Joey are polar oppisites.  Actually Joey has this problem with my dad and brother as well.  They are all in to sports, cars, hunting, fishing, etc…  Joey is SO not!  He’d rather read a book than go hunting.  He is me all the way around.  He is emotional, intense, hyper, and way too smart for his own good (or ours).  He can out-think me on my best day.  He has trouble concntrating on a task if it’s not something that interests him.  He tries so hard to be interested in the things his dad and the other men in my family are, but you can tell they bore the heck out of him.  He wants to play team sports, he loves the comraderie and the activity but he has no heart for the actual game at hand, he’d rather contemplate how thick the ice is than hit the hockey puck.  I have tried so hard to help them all meet in the middle but it just doesn’t work.  They don’t understand him and he doesn’t understand them.  How do you fix this problem?  Joe tries so hard but he just can’t seem to find a common activity outside of maybe a video game.  Video games are my one saving grace.  What boy doesn’t like playing a video game?  Joey and my nephew are the same way.  Joey would rather play something that requires his imagination or write a story and Logan would rather play trucks.  For that reason Joey sees my brother and Logan doing all of these things together and can’t understand why he and his dad can’t find that common ground no matter how hard they try.  <sigh>

On the subject of Joey, my great-aunt really offended me during my grandpa’s illness.  She asked me if Joey had been tested for ADD.  I know I shouldn’t be offended, it’s an illness and one I’m really, REALLY familiar with (another story for another time) but it really offended me for some reason.  Of course I’ve thought of it with him and even spoken to the school social worker about it.  Maybe that’s why I was so offended?  She said he doesn’t fit the profile, period.  He can concentrate on a task for hours if it’s a task he’s interested in.  She said often “gifted” kids are misdiagnosed with ADD.  She said I need to really remember “gifted kids” can be difficult to parent for those reasons.  Joey apparently isn’t ADD, he’s “gifted” and because of that his brain goes ALL of the time.  He finishes tasks really quickly and then gets bored, he has to be challenged all of the time.  She said it’s common for gifted kids to struggle in school because the course work is too easy for them and they get bored, she said that’s why gifted programs are a must for kids like Joey and why the “right” teachers are important.  His teachers this year give him double work, it keeps him busy and keeps him from being bored.  Last year he’d finish ahead of the class and be bored so he’d talk to other students and get in to trouble, this year they double up his work so he’s always busy, thus he doesn’t get in to trouble for talking to other students while they are finishing their work.  It’s been a very smooth year school wise thank goodness, it’s amazing how the “right” teachers can make all of the difference. 

My friend N sent me a great book exchange for kids!  I love things like that!  I’m a book-a-holic and so are my kids, these exchanges ae so much fun because you get lots of fun new books you might not otherwise buy and they all come from somewhere else, what a way to broaden your horizons and promote creativity and kindness!!  We’ll be buying our book and sending it out next week along with our letters, I hope I can find 6 friends with kids in this age group who will participate, hopefully Z will get lots of fun books and so will Elizabeth!  🙂  So N, if you read this you and Z be on the lookout for his books!

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One Response to “You can take the cat out of the jungle”

  1. Terra Says:

    I have no information at all on the differences with Joey and Joe. I can say that for a long time Heaven and I were that way. She was such a tomb-boy and well I am just not. Her and Dust got along great. They fished, hiked, played cars, legos and so on. Now she is going through a girly phase. I don’t think that will help at all, but who knows what is in store for the future.

    It really doesn’t surprise me that Joey’s gifted at all. He takes after his mom. I understand about being a little offended by the ADD remark. I feel that every time someone says that about Katrina. (Which is a lot as she acts a lot like her father.) However, she can also pay attention if she is interested in things and so forth. I wouldn’t say she is gifted, well at least not in the traditional way. She can figure out machinery and always has, she has amazing abilities and can tear something apart and put it back together unlike other children her age. Yet she struggles with reading and other language based activities. (Plus she spells like her mother.)

    Good luck with the book exchange, I thought about doing something like that but I am just not reliable enough about sending things in the mail 🙂


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