Who are these kids and why are they calling me mom?

Sometimes you just have to put on your big girl panties and deal with it

Ultimate Blog Party – Top 10 (#1) March 5, 2007

Filed under: Blogging,Family,Life — Steph @ 11:31 am
Ultimate Blog Party

Today’s “Top 10” is…

10 Things You Might Not Know About Me (and probably don’t care to know anyway) :o)

1. I celebrated my 6th year of marriage last October!

2. My DH works 30 days at a time in India. He will be home from an extended hitch on Thursday, he’s been gone 6 weeks and we’re SO excited to have him coming home!!

3. I am an animal lover in every sense of the word. I raise hedgehogs and chinchillas and rescue cats. I do a lot less cat rescue now than I did a few years ago and I’ve hit my limit right now with 5 permanent residents.

4. I have two children ages 7 (Joey) and 6-months (Elizabeth).

5. I am more than a little OCD but I also suffer from chronic depression and chronic fatigue. These things are NOT a good mix! Basically I live to have things orderly but when they get out of order it sends me in to a tail spin and I pull the covers up over my head and try to sleep my day away only to wake up to even more mass chaos and the cycle repeats. It’s very disheartening.

6. I love to read, I will read just about anything if the mood moves me. My favorite picks are anything by James Patterson, Nora Roberts, JD Robb (Nora Roberts’ alter ego), or Janet Evanovich, but there are many, many, MANY more I will read and enjoy including non-fiction.

7. I have battled my weight my entire life. In the past few years I’ve made a point of trying to get healthy for my kids and I strive to teach them healthy eating habits and to keep our meals nutritionally based. As someone who has been overweight my entire life and really struggled with it, I try very hard to keep my kids from having to suffer the same as I did. As a family we are working on being active and healthy! Fertility treatments didn’t help my weight problems nor does the depression I’ve battled for years, but I am working through it a little bit every day and am closer to my goal weight after stopping my fertility and hormone treatments.

8. I am a stay at home mom. I worked for many years in finance and office management at my dad’s car dealership. I LOVE my job, but I love my kids and being home with them too. With Joey’s health problems it was difficult to juggle both and I alternated between staying home and working for my dad. Last Spring I made the decision to truly stay home. It’s been an adjustment for sure. Being home with kids all day can be lonely and exhausting, but the rewards for me are greater than being at work all day and missing out on my kids. It’s so tough to work a full day and then come home and be a mom as well. I don’t think one or the other is the “right” choice. It’s all about choosing what’s right for you. For me, I feel being home is the right choice at this point. I might change my mind down the line, but right now I am very fulfilled and my kids are doing well. I definitely find I have more energy for those extra curricular activities than I did before. I used to cringe when Joey wanted to try a new sport, club, etc… Now I find I don’t dread it as much. I made my choice because Joey was having some difficulty in school, he’s very bright and gets bored easily and he has some social problems because he was sick and kept at home so much when he was younger, it’s been nice to be able to focus solely on helping him work through those things.

9. I developed a bit of a germ phobia after we found out we would be adding Elizabeth to our lives and it got worse after we brought her home. My son was VERY sick for a long time, he had a poor immune system because he was early and if someone sneezed in the same continent as us, he got sick. By age 5 he’d had 4 hospitalizations, 3 bouts of RSV, 2 bouts of Rota virus, chronic ear infections resulting in two sets of tubes, surgery to clear out clogged tear ducts, a hernia repair, and was diagnosed with reactive airway disease. That diagnosis was later changed to asthma. When he was around 2 1/2 or 3 they told us we had to keep him home in a safe environment and take him out as little as possible or one of these infections would kill him. His immune system needed time to catch up. So, we did. It was a lonely, trying couple of years. About 8 months before he started kindergarten we were told to place him back in a daycare or preschool setting so he could become exposed to some of the various illnesses before he started school and spent the whole school year sick. We did and he did very well. Last year he had a rough patch, January to March is his bad time period. This year? He’s done AMAZING!! He’s missed very little school and seen the doctor only ONCE!! YAY! As a result when Elizabeth came along I was determined to keep her healthy. She’s the healthiest baby I know right now, but she still managed to contract RSV a couple of weeks ago. I think she actually got it when we went for her well baby check up! So much for keeping her 100% protected. Hopefully I’ve learned my lesson and will be less of a germ-o-phobe now. I am smart enough to know she needs to be exposed to build up resistance, but my heart and my head are battling it out and so far my heart has won and we’ve stayed pretty isolated. Now that I’ve been slapped in the face with the reality, I am working on letting go a bit.

10. I have had fertility problems for about 5 years. I have PCOS and stage 3 endometriosis. I am publicly admitting I don’t understand my diseases as well as I should. I’ve done little research and really not paid much attention to any part of them other than to understand they are keeping me from having another biological child. I am told I need a hysterectomy. I’m not ready for one yet. So, I suffer it out each month, fight through the cramps and other side effects of my diseases and keep moving forward. One day soon I may decide to give up any hope of having another biological child, but at this point I’m not ready to. A large part of that is the fact we’ve not seen an RE. We don’t have any here in our town, the closest are in the Denver area which is a 5 hour drive. I have seen 3 different OB/GYN’s and each one had a different idea to try and help but in the end we come back to where we were with the prior OB/GYN. The treatment idea works for a month, we try an IUI, are unsuccessful and they think we should try another round of IUI’s. I am tired of spinning my wheels. I am tired of the weight gain, the mood swings, depression, the heartbreak, the disillusionment, and the flat out exhaustion that comes along with infertility and lack of treatment options. We quit trying quite some time ago. I will not see any more OB/GYN’s for treatment options. We will either see an RE or we will give it up all together and I’ll have the hysterectomy. I don’t know why I can’t bring myself to take that step as of yet. I am feeling fulfilled and content but I just can’t bring myself to take that step. It’s just so very final. A 2nd adoption is a viable option for us but for some reason I can’t let go of the thought it “could happen” and we could conceive, so for now I am just sitting on it and have placed it in God’s hands.


5 Responses to “Ultimate Blog Party – Top 10 (#1)”

  1. jillbeth Says:

    Hello, just stopping by from the party! My sister-in-law used to raise hedgehogs. The little babies are so cute! They would lay in the palm of her hand and let her rub their tummies!

  2. Cindy Says:

    We have some things in common, Steph! I also have a daughter named Elizabeth…I’ve loved that name all my life! I also have battled my weight for years. And…I have a sister who lives in Wyoming! Yep, she lives in Casper. I enjoyed “meeting” you…stop by my blog when you get a moment.

  3. Adventures In Babywearing Says:

    Glad you joined the party!!

    Come on over & check out my fun Bump! Photo Tag going on! Hope you’d like to play along and post your favorite pregnant belly pic! (And we’d love to see expectant adoptive parent photos, too!)


  4. Adam Says:

    Hi, I’m Adam from All Things Film, & I found your blog through the Blog Party. Just stopping by to say hello!

  5. Brandie Says:

    Hello … it’s nice to stop by nad meet you. It sounds like somedays you have your hands full with medical issues. That can be really hard to deal with. My children don’t have any diagnose, but they all have very poor immune systems in my opinion (well my youngesy was “unofficially” diagnosed with asthma) so I know about having to stay home and out of public either because at least one of them is sick or to prevent another spread of colds and viruses in our house.
    Anyway, I feel like I’m rambling! Have a great day

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