I decided to break down my resolutions for this year just because I’ve referenced them and I made a pretty broad statement. My ultimate resolution for this year is to be healthier and happier all around but that’s of course very open to interpretation and something we all strive toward every year. I’ve actually reflected a lot on what I want in my life this year. So, I am breaking them down categorically. Here goes…
1. My Family
I believe God’s greatest gift to us is our family. Specifically our children and mate. I think in trusting us to raise His children, to care for them, to love them, He is ultimately showing us just how much he loves us and believes in us. I can not in truth think of a greater show of His love than allowing us to love and care for each other. In the essence of honoring His gift of my family I am resolving to be more tolerant, patient, and loving toward my family. I often tend to get angry with Joe for causing more stress when I should be supporting him and appreciating him for the fullness he brings to my life. The same holds true for my kids although I tend to have a lot more patience with them! I am also resolving to keeping our home cleaner and warmer. I want them to be excited to come home and feel this is the most relaxing, loving, place they can be.
This is a big one for me. I’ve been horribly disorganized the past few years. We were always coming and going, throwing things wherever, bills were misplaced, books, papers, clothes, shoes, homework, toys etc… I am spending the next week organizing everything and I am resolving to keep it all organized, picked up, put away, etc…
This is a fairly large portion of my resolutions. I am not necessarily going to say I will lose weight but I am sure going to try, we are going to eat healthier, eat out less, etc… I am doing this both to lose the weight I put on with the hormone treatments (50 lbs.) but also because I want to be here when my kids are grown and I want to be able to play with my kids and grandkids and enjoy them and not have to worry about weight related problems with my back, knees, heart, asthma, etc… It’s something I’ve felt strongly about for a few months and we’ve been working on it a little but we resolved to take it more seriously after New Years. It’s a family wide resolution. :o)
I’d also like to quit smoking, I did try to quit before Elizabeth came but so far I’ve not been successful. Being home all of the time I’m finding it hard to stay busy enough to keep my mind off of it and really get it done. I tried Wellbutrin but that didn’t help at all. I am going to talk to my doctor about it again next time I go in!
I want to be more active!! I really want an elliptical machine but it’s out of my budget range right now so I am walking more, working around the house more, and just getting off my butt more often! Once the weather clears I am taking Elizabeth for walks, we have a nice little walking path down the street in our neighborhood.
My hand – I am going to have to go to the Ortho. for my hand. I’ve been putting it off for over a year but it’s worse now than it’s ever been and Aleve isn’t working anymore. I’m dropping things, my middle finger is aching and hard to bend, and now it’s spreading to my elbow and shoulder. I am not sure there’s anything she can do, but we have a somewhat new (in the past 2 years) hand/arm specialist and I’m hoping she’ll have an idea. After 3 surgeries and being told it will just continue to deteriorate I am afraid to seek out another opinion for fear it will be the exact same opinion as the other 3, but I really feel I have to try. My biggest fear is that it will continue to deteriorate at this pace and be un-usable in another 2 years. I have been told “be thankful you have the use of your hand at all” and I am VERY thankful for that, but on the other hand, what good is the use of my hand if it’s so horribly painful all of the time??
We were a lot healthier in 2006 than we were in previous years, Joey has been healthier this year than he’s ever been as have I, so I am hoping we can keep that up!!
What to say here? I am going to try to be a little less frivolous. I don’t spend money on myself, I haven’t in years, I haven’t had a new pair of pants, shoes, a new shirt, etc… (aside from those gifted to me) in well over a year, but I spend money on the kids. I am really hoping to level out our finances and cut out some of the frivolities in 4 months time. I want to pay off the attorney bills and be back on an even keel by April. It’s definitely do-able. I think if we can get those things out of the way we’ll have a lot less stress in our lives. I really hate to owe money and it’s really, really bothering me!
5. My marriage
This is a big one for me. I love Joe more than anything, we’ve been through so much in the past 6 years. Sometimes I take him for granted and I really don’t give him enough credit. I am resolving to be more loving, more understanding, and more at peace with who we both are. I am also resolving to be more thankful for who he is and what he does for this family. I am going to focus less on the negative and more on the positive because I feel I’ve been unfair to him in a lot of ways. We really have a pretty good marriage compared to some but this past year has been a tough one for us and I really want to get past the things that can’t be changed or undone.
6. My house
I have to admit I am not the best housekeeper. I am borderline OCD and I want things perfect ALL of the time. If they aren’t perfect I retreat in to myself and ignore them until they get so out of hand I can’t stand it and it makes me a very not nice person! Being OCD and lazy at the same time is not a good match! I am resolving to keeping my house cleaner and more organized so I feel better about it and don’t feel so out of control and irritable. I have been working on the cleaning and organizing for about 2 days and figure I have about another week to go. Today I didn’t much feel up to doing anything since we got home so late, but tomorrow I have a list a mile long. I know once it’s done I’ll feel better about it but I also know I have to keep up with it. I also want the house cleaner and more comfortable so Joe and the kids feel at peace here, it should be our safe haven, our place to enjoy and a place we can be proud of and when something’s out of place and I do my retreat it ends up being the exact opposite! A lot of it is just sheer lazy on my part, I will walk by something 90 times and let it irritate me, but not stop to pick it up. I am resolving to pick those things up and to just get up and do the things that need done when they need done instead of letting things irritate me and ignoring them! That might not make sense to a lot of you but it makes sense to me and will make sense to those who’ve been to my house and known me a long time! Oh, and I’d be remiss to not mention the laundry! I loathe laundry duty! Seriously, there isn’t a single thing in this world I wouldn’t rather do than sit and fold laundry. It’s so tedious, I sit there thinking of all of the other things I could be doing! I have thought a million times I should just fold it a load at a time when it comes out of the dryer and yet I never, ever follow through! I spend a full day folding laundry and it feels so good to have it done and I’m so at peace and excited but a week later it’s piling up again because I’ve not sat down to fold it! I am truly, truly, going to fold laundry as it comes out of the dryer from now on because I know it will make me feel better if I don’t have to spend a whole day folding every article of clothing and every linen in the house!!!
Last but certainly not least is me. As with I’m sure everyone else in the world, I’ve done things I’m not proud of, things I am downright ashamed of. I’ve hurt friends and family both. I always try to do what feels right to me but that’s not always the right thing to do. I have a tendency to speak before I think and to really say things I regret. I am resolving this year (as I have every year for as long as I can remember) to think before I speak, not be so impulsive with my reactions, and really consider what’s worth my energy and what’s not. In general I really want to just be a kinder, less impulsive, less judgmental, quieter, calmer, more gentle person all around. To date I’ve been seriously lacking in these areas.
So, that’s it… Those are my resolutions for this year. I’m not deluded enough to think I’ll accomplish perfection, but I am really striving toward being a happier, healthier, kinder person all around.